10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids(student knowledge)
- “I know you can try harder.”
By saying I know you can try harder you are not only hurting your child you are also demotivating him. Say positive things like “wow! The extra time you spent on the report really shows!”
- “Are you sure you need that second cupcake?”
Every parent wants their kids to be fit and healthy but never says a word that can create a negative image of them. Use action instead of words to keep them away from food that are unhealthy. You can stock your kitchen with healthy food and remove all junk foods. Use words like “oh! Good you tried that soup!”
- “You always…” or “You never…”
These statements can stick for a lifetime and it is a reflex many times. Kids become what we tell them they are so be care full about the words you are using to describe their actions. Avoid using you always do that, you always forget or you never do that, you never remember. Help them remember or do what they have to do.
- “Why can’t you be more like your sister/brother?”
Siblings are like rivalry many times anything you say to compare them will create enmity. If you say your brother is great at sport why can’t you do that? You are making him weaker in his own image. Try to find a positive side of your kids and encourage them in their pursuits.
- “I told you waiting until the last minute was a mistake!”
This statement is indicating that you were always right and your kid is always wrong. When your kids fail at something avoid this statement. Point out the positive things that happen when he follows your suggestions. Give the credits to him when he does something you say to him and succeeds.
- “You’re the best at drawing!”
Denigrating your child’s efforts can be damaging. Do not limit your child’s abilities. They may become scared of trying new things. Even if you say positive things like don’t worry you are smart it can backfire. It makes them feel that they are not living up to the expectation.
Instead encourage their effort and support them in their efforts.
- “Don’t worry—the first day of school will be fine.”
Don’t say doesn’t cry or don’t worry it will make them cry or worry more. You are not giving them a solution instead you are just telling them not to do it. Instead say “I can see you crying, can you tell me what is bothering you so that we can talk about it?
- “Because I said so!”
This statement puts all power in your hands and can negatively affect your child’s growing autonomy. It makes them feel less in control of what they are able to do. Give them reason to do something. Say it in a positive way to let them know what they are doing is good and makes them happy.
- “I wish you didn’t hang out with Jack; I don’t like that kid.”
If you don’t want your kid to hang out with his friend asks yourself why. When you figure out the reason talks to your kid about it in a very simple way. Ask dead end questions to your kid about his friend. Ask him what he sees in him that makes him hang out with him. Bring out the values of his friend for which he is attached to him and make him understand the rights and wrongs.
- “That’s not how you do it! Here, let me.”
Don’t make your kids feel that they are doing something wrong. It can be tough to hold yourself back in these situations but keep in mind if you help them every time they will not learn anything by themselves. Instead of dismissing their way just collaborate with them and let them know how they can improve what they do in a very positive way.